Being kind and sympathetic: getting cheated of money by people time and time again who play on your sympathy for them.

Being nice and caring: spending your time with friends who turn to you when they're down (and missing out on doing your homework or revision instead) and ditch you when things go well again for them. And the cycle repeats itself.

Being accommodating: landing yourself in situations where you end up being disadvantaged and having to shuffle to and fro just to accommodate someone else's schedule and wishes.

Being understanding: understanding the other party's reason and point of view, but failure to understand that by giving in to them you fail to understand your very own needs instead.

Being faithful: to the friendships and the close friends around you, and then getting hurt when they ditch you for other friends later on.

I don't like it at all when people get so superficial. On one part you're saying that we're "girlfriends", but then when it comes to the simple (but yet meaningful) things like riding together on the bus and going out together, you ditch me for another friend instead.

I also don't like it when I'm close to this friend, and then someone else from the outside realizes this, and then goes "hey, if she can be friendly with him too, so can I" and then proceeds on to snatch my close friend away.

I used to think we meant the same to each other. That you were important to me, and that I was as important to you too. But apparently these few days (and weeks) have proven me wrong. It seems like I care more about you than you care about me and this friendship. As though I'm the one putting in all the effort to try to savage this friendship and keep us from becoming complete strangers.

If you really cared about a person, you wouldn't make them feel lonely when you're in a crowd with them. Even when other people are around, you wouldn't neglect your friend, but instead, make an effort to make your friend a part of that circle as well.

And if you really cared about a friend, you would be sensitive. You would listen to what they're NOT saying, instead of listening to what you THINK they're saying. Hearing and listening are two complete different processes. A person can say "I'm okay with that" when in actuality he really does mind and is NOT okay with it at all. If you can't even recognize that, then what is that talk about friendship all about?

The worst thing you could possibly do is also to shoot the person for not including you as one of her closest friends. If you know fully well that you haven't been a good enough friend, then you shouldn't attack the person by asking "why you never mention me in your post about your good friends" or anything along that lines. Instead, you would recognize the lack of effort and commitment on your part, your failure as a friend, and work on it so that you become a better friend instead.

But people still don't learn.

I wonder why I live with it and always put myself in difficult situations by accommodating them. Maybe I should learn how to care less, so that the hurt wouldn't be that painful.

Who knew even friendships would be this tricky?

And I'm thankful for you, my love, for being there, understanding that I need someone by my side when my friends ditch me. These little actions of yours are the ones that show me how much you really love me, and make me love you even more.

Yesterday's Fears - Tomorrow's Fears