The Girl
Last updated 13th December 2007
So you want to know about me, don't you?
Basically, I’m a girl – just an ordinary girl. I was born on 10th December 1990, and to be able to say that I was born on this date makes me proud, because this date holds special significance even in history. The most memorable would be the Nobel Prize Award Giving Ceremony, held every year on this very date. I was born into a family of four, where I have my parents and a younger sister for company.
My family…is not your average family. Unfortunately, we have communication problems in this household where I live in. Talking about my family makes me sad, so I shall skip this part and move on…
I enjoy being on diaryland, where I can truly be myself here in this place where no one can disturb me. I enjoy many activities, namely, reading, writing, singing, dancing, listening to music, watching drama serials, as well as chatting and hanging out with my friends.
Looking back I know I would never have predicted life as it is today. Things have been so unpredictable, and I have been through countless of drowning azure pools, but with the help of some truly wonderful people, I have managed to get myself back on the right track again. Yes, I have had a dark past. Unlike others, I am unable to look back on my childhood years and smile, for I have few happy memories within them. I have been hurt by people I thought I could trust so many times that it has left behind scars and painful memories. My memories before the age of sixteen encompasses dealing with the death of my first ever best friend, growing up under my parents’ cold war, being hurt by the people I had loved, being betrayed by people I trusted…
But I am not ashamed of my past, for it is what made me who I am today. Anna (my sister, my best friend, my confidante, my closest friend in the entire world) always says I am strong. If that is the truth, then my past has a role to play in this inner strength. And it is this strength that helps me pick myself up when I fall, move on, and continue believing in a better tomorrow.
Despite the complications in my life, in my past, I am still basically a simple girl. And I believe in fairytales. In Happily Ever Afters. My favourite fairytale is Cinderella (and I love the movie A Cinderella Story), and someday, I hope my life story can be just like hers. Believing in this also gives me strength to hold on to life and not give up, because someday, at the end of the road, just knowing that my Prince awaits is sufficient to keep me moving on. I don’t yearn to marry someone “rich, handsome and wonderful” like most girls dream of…my wish is simple. I just want someone whom I can talk to with all my heart and my soul. Someone whom I will be happy with. Someone whom I’ll be able to entrust my life to. And for that, I believe in sincerity, for sincerity moves mountains.
I have a vision for myself, for my future. I want to be a stay-home wife, a stay-home mother who will look after my kids and wait for my husband to come home. I will clean the house and spend my time not only looking after my children but also learning recipes so that I can cook for the man I love. I will wait at home for him to come back home, and then we will have dinner together. That, is the family warmth I yearn for, the very warmth that I never had the chance to experience. Many of my friends who know this fact about me say that I ask for something too simple, something foolish. But I beg to differ. Even though this vision of mine is highly unlikely in today’s society, I still choose to believe. For simplicity…is beauty.
But just like everyone else around, I have my own insecurities and unhappiness. Even though my friends in the day see me as “the girl who is always smiling, the girl who is always happy”…that isn’t always the case. For when night falls, that’s when the tears fall, too. At night, where no one can see me, that’s when I have my emotional periods. In fact, most of my sadder entries are usually written at night, because when I’m left alone…that’s when my thoughts run wild.
People say your preference for a sunset or a sunrise defines the person you really are. (Optimistic and pessimistic respectively.) And I love the sunset. Ever seen one? The beauty, the breathtaking wonder and view. A miracle of nature, seen everyday, only for the eyes of the lucky. But then again, I am not exactly pessimistic. I see life the way I want to. And certain things can never be happy, like the light which I see myself in. But I know that there are things that can make me happy, so pessimistic might not really be something others would define me as. The people who understand me better will know that I’m optimistic where others are concerned, but when it comes to myself, I usually see myself in a more pessimistic light. Maybe one day, I’ll meet someone who can change this part of me. Who knows?
Few people know who I really am, and I suppose that will always stay that way. I am not one to divulge my feelings and emotions easily to the people around me, although I remain as trusting as ever (too trusting, in fact, as some have said). Almost everyone has multiple personalities inside them. Some show them all to the world, but I’m not one of them. Yes, I have my façade too. What the people around me will be more likely to see is the wilder side of me, the side of me that can go crazy over random idols and Taiwan drama serials…but in reality that isn’t such a big part of me after all. Once in a while you might be able to spot that (crazy) side of me in some of my entries, but I assure you they are really rare. Because just like what I’ve mentioned earlier, it’s only a small part of me that does not wholly make me who I am.
One of my weakness is how hard it is for me to say no to anyone. How trusting I am. How I’m always willing to give people a second, third, fourth chance (and the list goes on). Maybe that’s why I always end up getting hurt…
One unique and special factor about me is my everlasting passion for hugs. A hug gives its all, it's free, it's cheap, it's great! Unfortunately not many people in life know how to treasure hugs. But who knows. Someday I believe I will find people who love hugs as much as I do. My favourite scenes in all the Taiwan drama serials that I enjoy? That has got to be the parts where the leading characters hug!
The girl with a dark past, the girl who believes in happily-ever-afters. The believer in fairytales, in true love.
Because you'll be happier knowing it exists, and that's why I choose to believe, even if deep inside I know fully well that my Prince Charming and happy ever after might never come for someone like me.
But that's enough for now, that's pretty much me. Me, Jewelx. Me, Rosytears. The tears that I have shed, the tears that will fall. Happy tears, lonely tears. Read about them in my random entries. Here's me wishing you all a happy and blessed life. To all the best, Jewelx.
If you want to find out more about me and my life, you can read 337 Questions, 17 Questions, More Questions, 5 Questions, My Biography, 101 Questions, My Name Analysis, Even More Questions, A to Z Questions,
Also, you might want to visit my cast page as well as my family to get to know the people who have shaped me into who I am today.